Mel’s lost friend

wow, that was a story

Wow that was excellent. The story is a very serious topic, from what I can see is that you handle it pretty well. Personally I think to make the story more compelling, I would suggest adding more connection between Mel and her best friend, have the end of act one make you feel the panic and stakes. In act 2 I would suggest perhaps going into Mel’s (what I assume to be) depression and make the audience feel Mel’s struggles. (Granted this doesn’t mean you need to show everything she’s thinking but perhaps imply some of the more serious stuff like you showed with the scissors. Act 3 I believe is good and I liked the inclusion of the therapist at the end. One of my most liked parts are the ways you depicted the teachers and principal as animals, because in helps showcase that Mel believes that the adults around her are (in her mind) not fulfilling their responsibilities so they are like animals. Over all great work (p.s sorry for the rambling)